But there was this one time…

Chiefland, Fl is a notorious speed trap. There is a stretch on the south side of town where the limit lowers to 30mph. When’s the last time your drove at 30mph for a sustained amount of time? Try it. It’s not easy.

But I know this about Chiefland so I’m always careful.

Imagine my surprise a couple of years ago when I saw blue lights in my mirror while travelling through the tiny town.

I looked down at the dash and saw I was going 37mph. I was driving my mother’s Lincoln which can cruise at 80 and feel like 40.

I pulled over and a young cop (he looked like he was fresh out of cop school) approached my window.

Police: “What’s the big hurry tonight, sir?”

Me: “I didn’t think I was in one since I was going under 40″

Police: “The speed limit here is 30″

I pointed to the sign 10 FEET IN FRONT OF MY FRONT END which said 45mph.

He shook his head and said “Its 30 here” and wrote me a ticket.

The sheer absurdity infuriated me. But I took my ticket, paid my fine and since it was out of state and under 10mph over the limit got no points.

So fair warning if you ever drive through Chiefland, Fl.

1) When I was in college, a friend and I were driving in downtown Athens at around midnight on a Saturday night. We’d been out at dinner and I was driving her home. A cop pulled me over on the corner of College Ave. and Clayton St. He obviously hoped I was drunk and he could add another drunk college student to his quota. But neither of us had been drinking. He said I had my brights on. I said, no I don’t, here’s how my brights work (proceeded to flip them on and off). Then he said, uh, well, that frame you have around your license plate partially obscures the county, so you need to take it off… “I’m giving you a warning this time!” I said okay. He left. My friend and I had a good laugh.

2) Rusty’s grandfather’s widow (his second wife, so not Rusty’s grandmother) is in her early 90s but still sharp as a tack. Last Thanksgiving, I think it was, she was telling us about how she recently got pulled over for speeding. The exchange between her and the cop went like this:

Cop: “Do you know why I pulled you over, ma’am?”
Her: “No.”
Cop: “You were speeding.”
Her: “I don’t believe I was.”
Cop (flustered): “Well I’ve got it on my radar in my car!”
Her: “I’m not interested in what’s in your car.”

She didn’t get the ticket.

Also, her friend who came to Thanksgiving dinner with her (also around the same age) told us how she got out of a ticket in the same small-town way you did in your example #4… she saw the cop’s last name and asked if he was “kin” to so-and-so, and he was, and that was that.