One of the biggest assholes I’ve ever had the displeasure of knowing was an aspiring stand-up comic I delivered pizzas with about 3 years ago. He was constantly insulting everyone. And I didn’t find it funny at all. I’m not a big fan of insult comics in general, UNLESS they’re insulting each other. One of the funniest things I’ve seen recently was the Larry the Cable Guy roast.

One of my favorite shows is Family Guy. Which I admit is frequently sexist, racist, borderline anti-Semitic, etc etc. Like Peter’s song about “I need a Jew.” But that particular episode was written by a Jewish writer, so though it’s still likely offensive to many, it’s obvious it comes from a tongue-in-cheek place of humor instead of hate. Also b/c it’s coming out of Peter’s mouth, and Peter is a moron. So he gives a mouthpiece to all the idiot thoughts that many of us won’t admit we’ve thought. Though I can also see why many people wouldn’t watch the show b/c they find it offensive.

I find a lot of things funny that are pretty horrible by any standard that isn’t comedy. Sometimes I’ll send Amber a link to something (say, on The Onion) that I think is hilarious and spot-on. Sometimes, she will share my opinion. Sometimes, she can give me a lot of very good reasons why what I sent her was a really fucked up thing for them to write.

And I don’t think either of us is wrong.

I am frequently tempted to say, “c’mon, it’s just a joke.” Because sometimes it is just a joke. But sometimes, that’s a catchphrase that assholes use as an excuse to bully people.

And that is a blurry-ass line sometimes. Some people have a gift for saying things just the right way where they can make a point that isn’t watered down at all, but still not come off as the wrong kind of asshole. Most of us don’t have that gift.

I have no answers, only questions. Humor can be a paradox.